The Wisdom of a Broken Heart

THE WISDOM OF A BROKEN HEART

Why is it that we always seem to learn the greatest lessons through pain and heartache? When has anyone learned or retained a lesson’s meaning during a happy time?



We do recognize those wonderful times in our lives with gratitude and appreciation, but those “happy” feelings are fleeting. How quickly we forget, huh? We don’t truly “remember” those times as much or as profoundly as we do the memories that are riddled with pain and angst. Why is that?




Well, let’s take a look at it. When we are happy we don’t seem to obsess about said happiness. We live in the moment, we allow it to envelope us like a warm blanket and we accept the moment with a welcoming embrace. However, when we are met with a challenge, pain, tears, or turmoil we tend to obsess over it, trying desperately to “get out of that moment” and fix it or quickly abandon those feelings. We don’t want to feel bad. We don’t like pain. We do everything we can to avoid it and evade it, and by doing so our focus becomes all about THAT moment. So, we retain it. We remember it fiercely and with great clarity. I bet each person reading this can tell me what color shirt they were wearing the first time their heart was broken, but they can’t tell me what color their shirt was the first time someone gave them a compliment, or the first time someone said a romantic “I love you”.




When we have an altercation, disagreement, or argument, we can remember with fine tune clarity the foul things that are said to us, or the anger that wells within when someone says something offensive or insulting. We think about it over and over and even years later it can bring a grimace to your face.


What seems to happen when we experience pain and turmoil, and obsess about it is we retain everything about it. We’ve analyzed the situation over and over coming up with new answers to our own internal questions, trying to work out a “game plan” and even anticipating or next move. It’s like an intricate game of chess and we must compartmentalize our feelings, thoughts and actions. It becomes a three step process dissecting it into the smallest of details, thereby seeing what needs to be done, or learning through trial and error what worked and what didn’t.

But, let’s look at heartache. Heartache is one of the biggest emotions that solicit change. What I mean by “change” is we either learn to work through the situation to attain a goal, or we learn that it’s time to walk away. We learn to self soothe. We learn compassion for others. We learn what it’s like to make choices, whether they are good, bad or indifferent. We learn how to heal, or we learn how to express or suppress anger. It’s through heartache that we gain wisdom.






Heartache assists us in learning WHO we are. HOW we deal with it. WHAT we can do. And WHERE we should be, or go. We don’t always follow our internal compass that leads us to the optimal place, but it’s through each heartache we experience that we fine tune our intuition and learn to listen to our guides.


In my own life, I’ve had the same things happen, or appear over and over again, and even someone such as myself, who has learned all the tools to bring happiness and joy in my life, I still miss the signs and I still have to ponder the lesson. I still question the god(s) with “Why me?” and I still obsess over a painful situation, and I consider myself quite in tune with my own intuition and internal compass, yet the message sometimes, is all but lost on me. I find, when I ignore those messages or lessons, the same situation arises. It may be with a different person, or a different situation, but the pain I feel, or the turmoil and confusion is all the same.




When a lesson, or situation is constantly returning to your life, it’s a clear indication that the lesson from previous situations was either not learned, or not recognized and dealt with. It’s what I call the “cleaning out the closet” syndrome. You cannot continue to pack things in an overstuffed and extremely unorganized closet and expect it to fit perfectly. There must be some cleaning and purging.

Spiritualists and Re-Incarnation experts tend to believe and educate that we will continue the lessons in THIS life that we did not complete or learn in the last life.




Psychiatric and Behavioral Specialists believe that all pain and stumbling blocks and how we deal with it has to do with conditioning in our childhood and adolescence.




I believe it’s a combination of both. I believe there are lessons, people, circumstances that we carry over from past and previous lives and bring into this life to recognize and clean up, and learn from, and through our childhood, the conditioning by our parents and society either gives us valuable tools that assist in us learning these past lessons quickly, or make us severely handicapped emotionally and mentally so we struggle.




In the months that follow, I will be offering a 6 week course, and even a weekly article dedicated to this particular topic, “The Wisdom of the Broken Heart”. And it will be a dramatic and extremely challenging course for the participant. There is a process here, and I will break it down in simplistic terms for now, and will get into this extensively when the course is being offered.




1. PAST LIFE REGRESSION AND ANALYSIS: This will be an in-depth intuitive profile of the past life lessons missed, or repeated. Why you did not retain them, and how you have chosen to avoid or evade them, thereby bringing them into this life.

*A WORD FROM AZZRIAN VISIONS AS SHE WILL BE CONDUCTING THIS PARTICULAR PART OF THE COURSE:*

In the past life regression portion of your six week journey we will unlock the past.

I will do a full past life regression on your behalf - a 150.00 value.


In the regression we will find the root source of your problems in your past lives that directly relate to obstacles in your path in this life.


We will unravel the ties that bind you to repeating past mistakes, find the hidden reasons for current life path fears, find what causes you pain, loss, suffering, sadness and misunderstandings in your life today.


Then we will discuss how to overcome those blockages so that we can free you from repeating the same path both in this life and lifetimes to come.


Not only do we discuss this but I will formulate a direct plan of action for you to undertake so that you have an active role in your release from these conflicts.


This portion of the journey involves email communication and an online live chat session to communicate with each other about the plan of action.


Email support is always provided.


Here is an outline of what will happen:




1. We will exchange emails with each other. We will address your current path and obstacles.


2. A past life reading will be done on your behalf.


3. You will receive your past life reading, have time to read it over and absorb it, then reply with any questions or comments. You will receive a reply from me and we will clear up any questions you may have.


4. I will study your past life regression and find the connections between your past lives and your current path. I will outline the course of action needed by you to understand, acknowledge, accept and let go of the past.


5. We will meet via live chat to discuss the regression and all of its connections, meanings, and reasonings. We will have time to address any remaining questions and fears. We will discuss your course of action and you will be given a clear understanding of what you need to do.


6. You will go forward to carry out your plan of action and prepare for the next step in this journey.

*******************************************

2. Behavioral Conditioning: How your childhood has hindered or helped in the way you process information and your actions (or reactions) to situations, trauma, or negativity thereby becoming an obstacle in your life and relationships.


3. Lesson Plans: Designed for each client which will start to re-condition you and assist you in learning new tools and methods that help you recognize sacred signs and messages that will detour a great many poor choices, mistakes and bad decision making.


4. Exercises and Affirmations: Which will re-ignite your own intuition, assisting you in bringing more joy and balance to your life.


5. Learning to Let Go Workshop: This will assist you and teach you the tools you need to stop obsessing, to learn how to have faith in yourself and remove self doubt which also includes self sabotage.


6. Weekly Chat: This is where we discuss as a group the roadblocks you are encountering as you progress forward with this 6 week course, because as we progress and as we clean out the closets, we will find more mess underneath each pile. You will be able to vent and to purge your frustration and even express your joy with others who are in the same boat as you and through discussing these things will learn more tools to assist in your spiritual evolution.


7. Weekly meditation sessions: We will personally design mediations for you that are specific to the lessons you need to learn and embrace. Each step is tailored to the individual client.




In learning how to listen to your own intuition and how to read “sacred signs” that the Universe/God/Goddess/Higher Power is delivering to you, it will, amazingly, teach you your next step, avoid pitfalls, learn to recognize what is the right path for you. You will no longer doubt what you say or do. It will empower you and support you and your own spirit.




The most detrimental aspect of a person’s character is self doubt. It makes us do the dumbest things, make the poorest choices and limits our joy. We all want abundance, prosperity, love and success, and we can all have it. But, first, we must recognize and acknowledge that which we have not completed, abandoned and given up on. We must stay diligent in our own spiritual path, and we must find a way to release the negative and bring about change in the direction of a successful life filled with more joy than you can imagine.




The more joy you exude the more joy and great, positive opportunity comes to you. It’s the “rich get richer, the poor get poorer” syndrome. When you shift, and change and flow with transition instead of fighting it, you will find you are going to attract more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.

SPECIALS ON READINGS/SPELL CASTING

SPECIALS FOR THIS WEEK ONLY!!!!

In celebration of our summer solstice, I will be doing my ritual work to bring about newness in life.  For those seeking positive change and to draw in more love, abundance and clarity. 

The work I'll be doing is centered around manifesting all that we desire and all that we seek in our lives. Whether it be love, or peace, or just answers.  With positive energy flowing and swelling and enveloping us, it brings about change quickly and desires move in a swift and positive manner. 

RELATIONSHIP HEALING

Is your relationship chaotic, stagnant and feeling as though it's one struggle after another?  Are you feeling things are falling apart? Are you wanting better communication and clear answers?  The ritual work I will do will provide all of the above and open the door to more opportunity for growth in a stagnant relationship.

MONEY

I will be creating a "wheel" with 12 spokes all holding a dollar bill and doing financial abundance work for the next consecutive 7 days. I only have 7 spots left with the wheel. This is a powerful spell that will be done again when the moon enters taurus roughly 20 days from now.  I will also construct more wheels for those who are desperate for some money flow to come in and to hold onto their money if it's going out as fast as it's coming in.

SELF GROWTH

If you're seeking to change the way your patterns have led you to an unsatisfactory place, I will also be doing ritual work that opens up your own spiritual clarity, and assists you in clear choices, and right decision making.  Removing self doubt and self sabotage and changing your negative patterns into positive.

EMAIL READINGS REDUCED

Normally my email readings, which are quite in depth, and lengthly and very conscise when outlining the obstacles and also the assets that circle you are usually $125.00,  I have reduced them due to the soltice to $85.00.  If you're interested, in any area of your life you wish to explore and seek guidance, please see the "contact tab" at the top of this page and contact me through email OR add me to your yahoo messenger lisam200512 and I'll be happy to assist you.

TWO (2) QUESTION INTUITIVE READINGS

Interested in a reading concerning a certain area of your life, and wanting clarity or even if you want to know how the one you love is feeling, what they are thinking and what they will do, I can assist and reduced my fee to $30 and won't be charging "by the minute" for the time given to your two questions.

***I OFFER MANY SERVICES AND I AM VERY GENEROUS WITH MY TIME AND HIGHLY ACCURATE WITH THE MESSAGES GIVEN.  I DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME AND A READING WITH ME WILL LEAVE YOU FEELING EMPOWERED, MORE IN CONTROL, AND EXTREMELY MOTIVATED TO GET WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, DESIRE AND ASPIRE TO HAVE OR BE****

Offering Spell Casting for The Full Moon

I will be performing a full ritual for this months (June 2010) Full Moon.

This is a full ritual and this will be a powerful moon.  I work with Luna (moon) Magick and do so in full ritual garb.  It's especially important as it's the first moon of the summer soltice, Litha. 

This is a Strong Sun Moon - Known as Green Corn Moon.  This moon is corresponding with Abundance for a green harvest.  So my spell work is surrounded upon Abundance, Prosperity and Blessings of good fortune in all areas of life (Love, Family, and Career). 

I will be drawing down the moon and it will be a two hour ritual including mediation and skrying.   I will also be asking for protection at this time as well.

If you are interested in being included in this ritual work please visit this blog and under the "Contact Me" button email me with your name, the name of those you wish to include and your wish. 

*NOTE: I DO NOT CHALLENGE FREE WILL. SO ASKING ME TO BEND THE WILL OF ANOTHER AND TO RETURN LOVERS WHO HAVE LEFT IS NOT SOMETHING I DO. HOWEVER, I CAN OPEN LINES OF COMMUNICATION, A SMALL WINDOW OF TIME, SO A RELATIONSHIP MAY BE REPAIRED.***

The fee will be $20 for you to be included in this ritual and 10 minutes of my time is devoted to focusing on your wish and intent.  This is extremely generous and fee is non-negotiable.

Blessed Be,
Ms Lisa M

When is "enough" enough?

My grandmother once said to me, "In every relationship, there is always one person who loves the other more then he/she loves" and though I don't believe that to be entirely true, I do see what she meant.

How many times have you seen one partner giving and giving and giving while the other sops it up like a sponge and all their needs are met?  Too many times to count, I'm assuming.

How many times have you seen someone change whom they are for the sake of a relationship. They silence their voice; they don't speak out against maltreatment; they tolerate far too much, fearful this person will leave them. 

How many times have seen someone give up their dreams, abandon their goals and get off their own path following anothers in hopes of this relationship panning out and living a fairytale life in the end? 

I cannot stress my next sentence loud enough, love doesn't hurt! 

Let's look at you for a moment.  When you love, you don't hurt the other person with cruel words, or avoiding issues and spending time together. You give everything that is in your heart, loving the person almost more than you love yourself and making sure their needs are taken care of and not worrying about your own (we're talking about unconditional love at this point, we'll get to the strings attached kind of love later on).

When someone is in love, the last thing they want to do is make another person feel undervalued, underappreciated, and taken for-granted.  In fact, you go above and beyond to make sure your partner/lover doesn't feel any of those things.

When you're with someone who continues on with the same bad behavior time and again, not caring this treatment is hurting you, you must then ask yourself, "what the hell am I doing here?".

I need to be completely honest with you, women are more prone to this than men, but men are also guilty of it as well, giving so much in an attempt to get more.  Shakes my head vehemently.  It never works!  For someone who truly loves you and, truly wants to be with you, would be treating you better.

We come up with so many exucses for poor treatment: He's just really busy.  He is not an emotional person.  He was hurt before and his guard is up.  He's just very cautious.  He's just not a demonstrative person.  The list goes on and on. 

My first question to a lot of clients when they are tolerating this kind of indifferent and sometimes painful behavior is "why are you with someone who is NOT giving you what you need?"  Normally, when their answer isn't "because I love him"  it is usually, "because I know once he trusts me enough, once I show him how loyal I am, he will let his guard down".   To that, I say, NO HE WON'T!

Let me dispell some of the common excuses people make for shitty treatment:

HE'S REALLY BUSY

Now, call me stupid, but aren't you busy as well?  No one is too busy to text or telephone the person they love.  I have yet to meet one person on this planet that does not want to speak to or hear from the person they are in love with.  Men love just like women. They do stupid, silly things to show their love.  They WANT to see you. They WANT to talk to you. They do not put you off until they have time, in fact, they MAKE time.  When someone loves you they always find time for you in some way or another. They may not be able to take you away for the weekend, but they can find the time to text, "miss you" and if they can't find the time to do that, you need to think long and hard if they have time to see you.

Settling for less than you deserve is the surest way to end up a doormat. Not just a doormat, but a booty call. Isn't it funny how this man hasn't the time to return your call or text, yet a week later has found time for that slap and tickle? Hmmm, odd isn't it.  Isn't it funny that he makes no apology until his pants are fitting tighter and he needs you for some release?  Isn't it odd how he can't meet you for lunch but he can play basketball in the middle of a work week? Odd, huh?

MEN ARE NEVER TOO BUSY TO CALL, TEXT OR SEE YOU.  WHAT THAT IS ABOUT IS YOU NOT BEING A PRIORITY. AND IF YOU'RE NOT A PRIORITY, THEN IT'S TIME TO FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU A PRIORITY.  END OF STORY!

Excuse #2: He's Been Hurt & He's Scared

Bullshit!  We've all been hurt. We're all scared. But if you think about it, when you meet someone new, someone who makes your heart a flutter and isn't it funny how you no longer feel scared?  You feel optimistic, birds are chirping, little hearts appear in your eyes, and for the first time in a long time you feel that flush of hope in the air.  Falling in love makes you feel alive, it doesn't make you vapor lock until much later, and that is usually when you're internal compass is going off warning you that something isn't right.  But, no one, not even a man, treats someone like garbage due to fear.  They may not devulge a great deal, or they may move slowly, but they do not treat you poorly.  Stop making excuses for his lack of commitment or lack of attention by passing it off that his ex hurt him so badly he's just too jaded to fall in love. That is utter garbage, and that is something women, who are chasing a non-commital man, say to make themselves feel better and to justify their own stupidity in staying with the unattainable. 

If a man tells you he's too scared to be hurt, that is just a line.  Men don't say stuff like that.  This is usually said by a man who enjoys your company, wants to continue sleeping with you, but also wants to be free to explore other options.  You are just the BEST option right now.  This is the man that sits in a restaurant with you looking around at all the talent he could be with if you're head wasn't in the way.  Pay attention, ladies...this man is full of shit!

Excuse #3: He's Just Not Ready Yet!

This is the most honest of all the excuses and one I can respect 100%. Any man that states this is being up front and direct with you. He is telling you he likes you, enjoys the time you spend together, but he's not ready to make a monogomous commitment.  The fact that he had the coconuts to be direct should be applauded, and I wish more women listened to the man when he said this and didn't hear something totally different.  Men say this, and some women hear, "I'm not ready yet, but I will be if you smother me and fulfill my every need".  This is usually when the woman shifts into being the "perfect girlfriend".  She brings him lunch, she knits him a sweater for the ski trip he has coming with his boys, and she just weazels her way into his life on every level, doing for him constantly, and thinking that he will fall in love with her, seeing her as irreplaceable and put a ring on her finger. 

There is only a few ways this can go...1) he becomes annoyed and he starts to distance himself from her. 2) He actually feels compassion and breaks up with her as he does not want her to get hurt when it doesn't work. 3) He uses her and takes what she offers as it wasn't asked for and dates someone else who has more respect for herself and ends up committing to her instead of you....

There is never a happy ending to this kind of action.  What I strongly urge you to do is hear that he is not ready.  Accept the casual relationship and don't start fantasizing that "in time" it will change. It won't if you give all you have and all you are in the midst of his non-commital attitude.  Simply enjoy the dating, and continue to keep your options open.   Don't change yourself in order to win this man, don't give too much, don't offer everything, and don't turn into the girl you THINK he wants.  Just let it go. The more confident and relaxed you are, the more likely he will come around, but hopefully, by then, you've already been dating someone else who is committing to you and you can respectfully decline Mr. Non-Commital when he comes around!

One of the most exasperating things for a life coach or spiritual advisor to deal with is a person who is NOT HEARING what is being said, rather, the words get lost in translation and they hear what it is they WANT to hear.  It makes me insane, and it makes me a harsh reader, because I am not one to feed your delusion. If it's you  I tell you it's you. I don't blame someone else. I will tell you directly to stop it. To hear what he's saying.  To stop trying to twist the words he is saying to make them more palatable.

90% of the time, women who are doing this above, aren't really in love.  A great majority of those who are heartbroken that come to me, THINK they are in love because what they are feeling is painful, but they are not in love. This is about "why doesn't he want me?"  They are taking a persons avoidance or non-commital as there being something wrong with them.

Love is about chemistry. We can't exactly figure out what it is we love about another. We only know how we "FEEL" when in their company.  But after years of counseling women/men, and even going through my own brand of obsession, it comes down to "how can you love someone who treats you so horribly?"

Well, we tend to justify the others actions.  And, the big one, we tend to blame ourselves for the other not wanting us such as; I'm a bit overbearing; I tend to nag too much; I am too emotional.  This list is endless, but the bottom line is your self respect.  If you loved and respected yourself you would never tolerate such behavior.

One excersise I like to do with clients involves stepping outside of the relationship to see your own self worth. What I mean by this is I ask them what do they do if they are at a restaurant and the server is very, very rude to them? Do they speak up? How do they feel?   I ask them how they react when a parent treats them in a judgmental or disrespectful way?  I ask them how they handle someone who cuts in a line ahead of them without apology.  If you tolerate injustice and rude behavior in all aspects of your life, the chances that you do not respect or love yourself is great.  And if you don't feel those two emotions for yourself, how in the world can anyone else?

What tends to happen is when someone suffers from low self esteem and lack of love for the self, they then look to someone else they admire or aspire to be like and latch onto them, conditioning themselves to believe that is THIS person finds them worthy then they mean something.  And in that, they tend to abandon who they are in an effort to "win" this person, and eventually feel worthy...shakes my head, it's a horrible cycle.

So, when a client who is heartbroken and in pain comes to me, and we look at all that is involved, and they answer those questions, we eventually find they are seeking validation.  Though to us on the outside, we can see this clearly, the person enveloped in it, is blind to the self sabotage and constant infliction of pain they are doing upon themselves.  This person who is rebuffing you and rejecting you is not at fault, for they were waving red flags from their first hello, it was YOU that chose to see only unicorns and rainbows!!!

Esbat: New Moon & Casting

The New Moon entered last night as Gemini, yet today it's floating in Cancer which is an exceptional time to focus on work (spell work) you plan to do regarding home, family, protection, and security. 

New Moons are auspicious times and quite powerful when working on attracting or focusing on new endeavors such as a new relationship or new business. 

What is so great about the New Moon is it opens you up and gives you the energy needed to consecrate any implements or tools you are going to use during the waxing moon.  The waxing moon that follows is the time to "build energy" (at least this is what I use it for).  Think of it as a practice run.  The time to plan out what work you will be doing when our Full Moon (the pair moon this time) comes around. 

During the waxing moon, I gather all my tools, herbs, implements, candles and oils and I start to annoint and consecrate them.  I'm in no rush and tend to think long and hard about what it is I want to manifest.  I focus on my intent and raising this energy. 

As we shift from the New Moon (lasting roughly 2.4 days) we enter into the waxing phase.  It is building into the Full Moon.  I take this time, as I said to focus on my intent of manifestation.

CHOOSING MY SPELLWORK:  I sit and ponder what it is I'm wanting to bring about.  At this juncture I'm focusing on prosperity and abundance in all areas of my life (Financial, Love & Inner Peace).

CHOOSING MY TOOLS/IMPLEMENTS:  This is the time I purchase all needed supplies and I do research the best herbs, candle colors and oils to use in my ritual work.  Keep in mind, those practicing the Craft need not be bound by what books or articles say. In fact, concocting your own spells is the best way to gain power with the work you do.  Believing in yourself and knowing what you know, is really the way to do it. Too many times a dedicant or even the novice witch gets hung up on what a book says.  For example; Patchouli is suppose to be potent for a great many spells, I, on the other hand, loathe the smell of it and won't work with it, I then substitute with an herb or oil, I feel, works for me.  This is how you learn, and it's also the first step in creating your BOS (book of shadows/ grimoire).  Keeping track and logging every process is what you should be putting into your BOS, and sitting back and waiting for the results, chronicling how they worked, manifested, fell flat, or took off is imperative.  So, please, to the novice or beginning, do not get hung up on using "devils shoestring" if you cannot find it, and giving up....substitute herbs/oils you feel a connection to. Remember, the key to spell work is your believe and intent, not someone esles, only YOURS!

 WRITING OUT MY SPELL: After purchasing the tools I need, I then sit and think about what it is I want to manifest. I then write out a small verse or affirmation (incantation) that I will reflect on, focus on, then use during the ritual.  It will be one of the single most important tools you have. For this is your spell. This is what you wish to create. So take your time with this and be clear. Being vague and then doing the ritual work to bring this about will have the universe and the god/goddess you invoke a bit confused. You must be clear in your wish. 

I write this on a piece of parchment, and depending on the work I'm doing it will either be recited a few time during the work, or it will be slept with for the duration of the waxing moon, then burned during the ritual.

  Annointing and Consecrating Your Tools:  I have a habit of using my witches oil or annointing oils. If you need these supplies, please see the recommended websites I have listed on the right side of my page (Azure Green or Sacred Mist). And make sure they are essential oils, not fragrance oils.  If you cannot afford or do not have time to order these, fear not...simply grab some olive oil or even baby oil (I use to use Almond Oil that I'd buy at the grocery store, even vegetable oil, it doesn't matter) and bless it and fill it with energy before using it.  Then annoint your tools with this. 

When I annoint my tools/implements I meditate first and visualize how my spell will go, and then, when feeling in a good, grounded and centered place, I begin to annoint.  I sit and have all tools in front of me, picking up each one, closing my eyes and filling each with the energy and intent needed. Mostly I am cleansing them from previous intent or just from them laying dormant and unused.  If you purchased anything new (candles) it's very important to cleanse them as you do not want anothers energy on them. 

I make the sign of the pentacle and say my own little blessing of each. I tap it three times prior to drain it of unwanted energy and then I pass it over the four elements. I hold it and energize it with the intent. Then I tap it three times to seal it with the new energy. 

When I consecrate/annoint candles I hold them sideways.  If I want to draw something TO me, the wick faces me and I annoint with the oil from the end of the candle, drawing my finger up to the wick with the oil I'm using. Not going back and forth, just toward me. If I want to repel something, and I"m using this candle, I then push the oil away from me, wick facing the opposite direction.  (but that's just me lol). 

  HERBS:  If I'm using herbs for that extra oomph, I then roll my annointed candle in the herbs. You dont have to cover the candle in it, just rolling it so some sticks is just fine. I use the herbs later to sprinkle on top of the lit flame to add more energy and more spark to it.

  VISUALIZATION:  As the moon is waxing/building, each night before I sleep I recite my incantation and get myself in that magickal place. I visualize, intensely what I wish to bring forth. I see it, I hear it, I taste it, I feel it on every single level.  I ask those I'm calling upon to hear me and do my bidding for me.

  Sacred Space:  On the last day of the waxing moon, I then set up my altar. I get it ready for show time lol....I make sure my altar cloth is clean and blessed. I clean everything around my altar.  I have all implements in their dutiful place and I place the candles needed where they should be.  I use the elements and I call upon the Guardians of the Watchtower, each witch is different, so do as you please. But the last day of the waxing moon is my final prep time and gives me time to get any last minute things I will need when it's time for me to do my ritual work.  I always forget something, so be it lol....

 On the day of the spell: I take a cleansing and calming bath and focus on what it is I am getting ready to call up and request.  I use oils and herbs in the bath that reflect my intent and I sit silent and start to raise my own power.  I do not dry off, I simply wrap a towel around and air dry for the most part letting the oils and herbs stick to me.  Then I dress in something comfortable (normally my yoga pants or pj's...ya thought I'd say my hooded cloak didn't you? lol...Nope those are only for my sabbats)....I then sit at my altar....I cast my circle and my ritual begins.

**** It's important to note that the major and most important key here is YOUR BELIEF...YOUR WILL....YOUR INTENT...THAT IS YOUR POWER.  You don't need to be a wiccan, a witch or anything of the kind, and I cannot stress enough how much spells DO work.  You may not see the signs of it right off the bat, but I cannot stress enough that everytime you focus intently on something you desire, SOMETHING IS GOING TO MANIFEST. So it's truly important, for your own karma and your own integrity and ethics that you perform spell work with perfect love and perfect trust, no malice of ill intent, but pure of heart without viciousness.  Yes, witches do believe in justice and we are not beyond sending a little sheeny to someone who has pissed us off, but we do not do so to harm, we simply send back what has been sent to us, and we do so swiftly.  We DO NOT challenge free will, ever...

Grounding + Centering = Balance

I am as human as each and every one of you reading this, and I will state that I have not been up to par these last few months.

I'm finding a great many people have been feeling as I have. (i.e.; lethargic, exhausted, depleted, anxious and aggravated, unmotivated).  What made me take note of myself and others is the way my clients, as well as my friends and family, have been acting, reacting and communicating lately. 

As a Wiccan, I take note of energy and fluctuations, and I also know that energy is contagious.  I know with the war going on, the economy in distress, and the fear and anxiety swelling from many roaming the planet that this energy does permeate through our core and we cannot help but be effected by anothers emotions and their energy.  We soak it up like a sponge, and this can, in effect, shift your own energy from relaxed to anxious within minutes.  It's everywhere.

As an empath, I'm especially susceptible to it, and I will admit, I am not the best when it comes to cleaning, clearing and grounding that excess energy. 

I started to wonder why, with my extensive knowledge of how to handle excess energy and negative energy from others, why I was being hit so hard, and I realized that I had gotten off path.

When I say, off path what I mean by that is I have not practiced what I've preached. I have not taken advantage of my sacred space; kept up with my journals; meditated daily; and sadly, I've been so busy and bogged down with the stress of the economy lately that I've skimped on the one thing that has always brought me serenity and balance...Wicca! 

I've allowed my altar to sit, idle. I have not been giving thanks to the universe for the blessings bestowed upon me. I've allowed my ego to take flight and think that I can fix my concerns by worrying and obsessing about them, focusing on what is going wrong and losing sight of what is going right.

After a long discussion with Azzrian Visions we realized it was time to start shifting this energy, not just so we can assist our clients and family better, but also so we can be more balanced and at peace. 

I don't know about any of you, but I know that I cannot run on high octane 24 hours a day, deprive myself of much needed sleep, and not take time to just BE.  This blog is dedicated to those who have maybe lost balance and need to get back to their basics.

The Wiccan Way

Many times I'm asked if all Wiccans are Witches, and all Witches Wiccans?  The answer is No.  Not all follow the same path, and what I love most about Wicca is for those who believe what they believe. In a nutshell, we have only one law...And that is the Wiccan Rede. We guide ourselves by one rule, "And harm ye none, do what ye will".  Everything else is subject to what the Wiccan or spiritualist believes.  It is not a religion that tells you if you're right or wrong. It's void of judgment. Bottom line: Be a good person. 

Wiccan's believe as they believe. This wiccan, me, believes that there is a higher power that assists you anytime you ask. But you MUST ask.  I believe that we have the power to shape, and mold and create the life you want, right down to the tiniest detail, if you believe it is already yours. I also believe that when ego comes into play, we mess up the natural order of the universe with our obsessive thinking and self-sabotaging doubts and make even the most pleasurable gifts given to us lose their zest.

GROUNDING + CENTERING = BALANCE

I could outline all the various ways to do this, but who has that kind of time? There are hundreds, if not thousands of ways to do this. I will tell you simplistic ways to achieve this, and what works for ME, hopefully it will assist you too!

Grounding:  I stand, sit or whatever, the key is visualization, and I imagine my happy place.  Most times it's a forest, but you can visualize a meadow, an ocean, anything.   I visualize this place, and I smell the tree's and the dark rich earth under my feet. I feel the cool breeze and I hear the birds.  I then take a few deep breaths, eyes closed lost in visualization, and I'm standing in the forest, bare foot, and digging my toes into the earth.  I can feel the coolness under my feet.  My legs become like tree trunks, and roots are now growing from the bottom of my feet.  These roots embed into the earth, digging and shooting downward into the core below me, they anchor me.  I raise my arms into the sky and can feel the weight of the world stream out of me. I feel my head get lighter, my neck relaxed, my shoulders less heavy as this icky, black tar, oozes downward, through my body and into the roots and out into the earth.  Like a dumping ground for negative energy that will be recycled and cleaned and sifted out, and replaced with positivity.

I then envision the Goddess below me. She is silvery and swimming under my feet, she is full of optimism, positivity and wellness, and she reaches up, after my body has been drained of the negative and replenishes me. Her long finger is inserted to one of my roots and this bright white and silver light begins to fill me, like a glass of water, up through the root, to my feet, to my calves, up my thighs, to my hips, into my belly, enveloping my heart and rising upward until the silver white beam of light shoots through my crown chakra and bringing me into HER place of serenity.

CENTERING:  Once I'm filled with this beaming light, and well grounded, I then focus on my solar plexus (the soft spot between tummy and center of rib cage, this is where energy always enters my body as an empathic) and I visualize a small box or door.  I see it absorbing only white light, pulling it in through my solar plexus and then, like a linen sheet being fanned out to be placed on a bed, the door/box opens and I practice fanning the white light/sheet outward, then pulling it back in....out.....then back in....I have complete control over it.  I open up the chakra and allow it to cleanse and then pull in more and more light. 

BALANCE: Once I've grounded and centered I'm then purged of all the "ick" that I've carried, and I am ready to only accept the positive.  I am still in my visualization and I then draw the roots from my feet back in. My legs, no longer heavy and anchored, I'm more relaxed. My body, which had become a tree, is now mortal again and I'm feeling rejuvenated.  (NOTE: It may take a few tries for you to do this, but with practice you can slip in and out of visualization rather quickly with minimal effort).  Give thanks to the universe for replenishing you and then go about your day.

Doing this grounding and centering excersise is a wonderful way to begin your day, or unload the day.  Do this whenever you feel frenetic or out of balance.

A MOMENT OF SILENCE

I talk constantly. If I'm not talking to a client, or a child of mine, I'm on the phone with a friend, or family member. There are few moments in my life that are spent in absolute silence, this includes music playing, or the TV always on, noise on the street.  Even sleeping I'm not privvy to absolute silence. Silence is important because it gives the mind time to rest.  Constant noise makes your brain accumulate excessive chatter that it is, unbenownst to you, sifting through and holding onto information you may not even know you're gathering.  It depletes and exhausts you, whether you are aware of it or not.

TAKE A MOMENT: Take a moment during the day to shut off all noise (i.e. TV's, IPods, Cell phones) for at least one hour a day.  No noise!  Just shut it down. 

DON'T TALK:  Rest your mind and your voice and take a vow to not speak for an hour.  Read a book, bake a cake, clean the toilet, it matters not. But be silent. 

SIT IN SILENCE: Go to your sacred space in your home or outside and just sit.  I wish I had the ocean nearby so I could sit in the sand and just watch the waves.  But I've found going to a play ground and just sitting on a swing is just as cathartic. 

You will find, after doing this a few times,  you actually look forward to the silence and may even want to extend the time.  I've been thinking of "noise fasting" myself.  Where I take an entire day of no cell phones, no blogging, no work, no chatter, just an entire day of silence.  I'm sure my family would LOVE it if I shut up for a day lmao....

TAKING CARE OF YOU!

Life will not become more balanced simply because you WILL it to be.  You MUST, MUST, MUST be an active participant in your change. This means doing some simple things that may seem tedious, but in the long run, will create more balance in your life:

1.  Cleaning your space is important.  In psychology we learn a clutter home reflects the cluttered mind.  Clean out at least one room and get it in order.  Dust, mop, scrub, organize. Get everything in check.  You cannot "be" if you are surrounded by clutter.

2.  Stop obsessing over things you cannot change.  Worrying and stressing over that which is not within your power is not going to bring it into existence, nor is it going to fix it.  In fact, it makes it worse as obsession and worry are negative emotions.  And pondering over and over will only ignite fear, and doubt.  By letting it go, you'll find answers and solutions come FAST!  It's as if the answer just pops into your head, or mysteriously, the situation resolves itself.

3. Getting some rest is very important. Just like when you were a child and mid afternoon you'd get cranky and mom would tell you it was nap time, this holds true, if not more so, in adulthood.  Taking a nap midday is a great way to rejuvnate and rest the body and quiet the mind.  Naps are important and replenish what you've burned.  They need not be 2 hour naps, but a small 20 minute power nap can truly shift your energy level.

4. Eating well does replenish the body within and it's needed fuel for your active mind or body.  You need not eat til you bust, but so many people (myself included) skip meals or forget to eat and wonder why our body clocks are winding down. We then begin to fuel ourselves with those horrid energy drinks or coffee and wonder why we're crashing and moody.  Make sure you eat during the day, and snack to refuel.  I have frozen grapes in my freezer and some form of banana bread or english muffins. I'm not a big breakfast eater early in the morning or upon waking, and I must always take note to eat, and I'm striving right at this moment to refuel with something good for me.  Since it's summer, and fruit is aplenty, I am investing a good chunk of  my income into those fruits that going to energize me, and also tickle my palate.

5. Giving thanks and being grateful are powerful tools to help you feel connected.  It is a daily reminder of all you've been blessed with and keeps you focused on the bigger picture, thereby bringing more abundance into your life.

GIVING THANKS

I recently went to my nail salon, and while waiting for my appointment noticed in the East corner of the waiting area, on the floor, was a Prosperity Corner.  The shop owner stated it's for giving thanks and gratitude for the thriving business and customers were encouraged to place a penny, or a gift if they so desired.  In this prosperity corner was a statue of Buddah, and candles and a bowl of fruit offered to whomever they were thanking.  Flowers were there also, and other small gestures. 

Wiccan's do it, Catholics do it, Buddists do it, and you can do it to.  Erecting something, even small and barely candid to the nake eye, as a place of prayer and even gratitude is strongly encouraged and suggested by me.  It should reflect what you believe in.  As a Wiccan I have my 4 elements present at all times. But due to being raised a Catholic I honor and feel strongly connected to the Blessed Mother.  I have a statue of her, and I give her flowers for assisting me every day. 

It need not be elaborate, like I said, and it should reflect what you hold dear. (Candles, the elements, religious statues, a plate or bowl for an offering, rosary beads or worry beads, etc).  Take a moment each day to clean up this space, dusting it, etc, and then giving thanks.  It also helps you to ground and center as you're giving thanks or asking for assistance, and it also pulls your mind and focus to what it important. 

Why We Leave Pt 2

In my blog below I listed just a few of the types of men that women date, but eventually leave.  And as I said below as well, women are perplexing, and hard for anyone, even other women, to read.  We do change our minds a great deal, and we shift as quickly as the tide. Yet, there are some things that women will tolerate in men, if they see potential, or if the "good" outweighs the "bad".

REASONS WHY WOMEN LEAVE "NICE" GUYS

I know this is one of the most confusing to men.  Women complain and cry over never being able to find a nice guy.  And when they do meet one, they always leave him for the bad boy or the nice guy ends up shifting from boyfriend to roaming around the friend zone.  Let me try to explain what it is that these men are doing wrong.

There is a big, big difference between being a nice guy and being a doormat.  Just like I've lectured and tried to educate women on NOT being a wife before you're even a girlfriend, I will lecture the men not to be a husband before being a boyfriend.  These nice guys need to find their spine.    I cannot speak for everyone, and to be very honest, I'm having a hard time writing this because as I write, I know there are some women that like overly-attentive men who send those fuzzy emails, and cater to her every whim, BUT only when the feelings are reciprocal, and then there are those women that just use men like this, which is really hurtful to those nice guys because they never realize it until they have invested a good chunk of their hearts in the woman, and an even greater portion of their paycheck.

Just like women, men can give too much too soon.  They wear their hearts on their sleeves and they are a bit suffocating.  I had a client who came to me, and he said:

"I don't know why she keeps avoiding me. We dated for about 6 weeks and it was going great. I took her everywhere she wanted to go. I text her during the day to tell her I was thinking about her. I sent her flowers when she got the flu and even brought her chicken soup. But after I spent the weekend at the beach with her at her family reunion she stopped taking my calls...why?"

Now, at first glance you think "awww" he's so sweet, wish my boyfriend would do all that. Therein lies the glitch. HE WASN'T HER BOYFRIEND...YET!  And what the real scenerio was, was much different than the innocent and quite loving gesture you've read above. What really happened was this, and I'll break it down:

1.  They actually only had 2 dates.  After the first date, while driving her home, he made a second date with her still in the car.  He hadn't even sealed this date first but was now locking her into a second date.  This is awkward for the woman because she hasn't even decided if she likes him yet.  Men, don't ask for a second date until you've sealed the goodnight kiss, then judge how well the date went by that. Don't assume because she has been nice all night that she is into you.  Women give tell tale signs they are into you, and the goodnight kiss is always the clincher.

2.  He talked endlessly about things that were going on in town that he wanted her to go to with him.  How there was a concert March 2 (and here it is only November) and he wanted to take her to it.  He talked about his mother and how mom will just love her.  How his sister is having a baby and how he can't wait to be a  father.  This is too much information for date 1.  

3.  At the end of date 1, he pulled in her driveway, and walked her to the door (nice and gentlemanly, we love this), but he didn't notice she already had her keys out and had walked quickly to the door. As she unlocked the door, he kept talking about their second date, constantly REMINDING her that she agreed to go out with him again.  She politely smiled, nodded and went in saying goodnight without a kiss. BIG SIGN THERE, DUDE!

4.  Before he was even a block away, he text her with how he can't wait until Tuesday to see her again.  He then text her again when he got home to say it once again and to let her know she was on his mind.  He then text her the next morning to tell her to have a nice day, then again around noon to ask if she had a good lunch, then again at 5:00 to make sure she got home from work okay.  Then he text her around 8 pm to tell her he just heard a song that reminded him of her. (All this before date 2?).  None of his texts were answered or responded to.  So he called to make sure she was getting them. (shakes my head, DON'T DO THAT. WE GET THEM. DON'T CALL T-MOBILE AND ASK IF YOUR PHONE IS BROKEN, IT'S NOT, THE RELATIONSHIP IS!).

5.  Date 2 was much like date 1, only, it was worse.  He took her to a sporting event with his good friend and his good friends wife.  A couple/couple date on the second date is not good.  He kept trying to push her into a friendship with his friends wife and talked about vacations together, BBQ's and going over their house to play pictionary.  Can you imagine how uncomfortable this is for a woman who isn't into a guy, now is forced to couple up with her BFF's?  Meanwhile friends wife is talking to her the whole time about how cute they look together. 

6.  When she excused herself to go to the ladies room, he followed her. Yes. He followed her. His excuse was to make sure she found her way back to their seats (she's 40 folks, not 4) and stood outside the ladies room waiting for her.  Shakes my head...oye.

7.  After the sporting even, while following the BFF's for a fun night of board games she told him she wasn't feeling well and maybe she should go home.  He then tries to invite himself in by telling her how the flu was going around, blah blah blah. She declines his offer to take care of her and can't get out of the car fast enough when he shut it off and sits in her driveway to talk some more.   He then texts her continually through the night checking on her.  She responds with how ill she's feeling and she's just going to bed. This is a hint saying, STOP TEXTING ME. 

8.  Assuming she, in fact, has the flu, he sends flowers the next day with a card signed LOVE MELVIN!  She doesn't call to thank him. Instead texts him with an abbreviated "THX".  Ouch! He blast texts her asking her how she likes them, how they were sent to brighten her day, and a barrage of other things.  He calls, it goes right to voicemail.

9. After 4 days of him texting her worried she may have been hospitalized because of the flu or perhaps she had malaria, he arrives at her door with chicken soup.  She looked fine, he said, but she was very snippy with him which, to him, meant she still wasn't feeling well.  He then proceeded to ask her for a date for that weekend. She states she can't because she has a family reunion at the beach on saturday.

10. AH HERE COMES THE PART THAT IS A BIT OVER THE TOP...He shows up at the beach on Saturday and see's she wasn't lying, she DID have a family reunion, to which he just throws himself into it.  He is not introduced to her family, rather he introduces himself and says, "Hi, I'm Melvin, I'm Jolie's boyfriend". gasp, argh, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you didn't!

Now can ANYONE tell me what he did wrong? lmao

Yes, women want an attentive man. Yes, we want them to include us in their lives. We do like the texts in spurts, but there is a fine line between attentive and obnoxious. And throwing yourself, injecting youself, into someone's life uninvited is a deal breaker and a great way to insure she leaves skid marks in your driveway.

Here are the overt, and not so overt signs that show a man a woman IS interested.

1: They will lean forward, move closer, or smile a great deal, listening attentively and purposefully when you speak.

2. At dinner, they will not order spaghetti, BBQ ribs or anything with garlic or onion.  They won't order foods that will be messy to eat, or give them bad breath.

3.  When asked if they want dessert, the will want to "split" it with you.

4.  They will head to the restroom after dinner, not to text their BFF with "help me!!!!" But to primp. Take notice if their hair looks fluffed up, and they smell of mint as they suck on an altoid.

5.  They will go along with your future plans. If  you talk about a concert in March, and it's November, they will respond positively and in the affirmative by saying things like, that sounds fun, I've always wanted to see Lady Gaga!

6.  They will not race to their front door. They will engage in stupid small talk, not having their keys in their hand ready to bolt into the door. Instead, they dig for their keys in their purse, giving you enough time to kiss them.  OR they will unlock the door, but not go in, they will turn to you and again thank you for an awesome nite.  (*if a woman describes the date as: nice, good or just says thank you...then it's questionable. But if she says awesome, amazing, fun, great...then you're in!)

7.  She will kiss you goodnight, and it's not a peck either.  If she's eaten 20 altoids before you dropped her off, that is a sign she wants to kiss you, guys.  And that goodnight kiss is going to be a good one, trust me on this!

8.  You won't have to text her a block away from her house, because she will probably text you before you've even pulled out of her driveway, thanking you once again for an AWESOME time.

9.  She will answer your calls, and respond to EVERY text.

10.  She will look even prettier on the second date and sexier too, the dress will be shorter, the heels a tad higher and she's dressed in the color that you mentiioned was your favorite.

Women, like men, do not want to be smothered.  They don't like to feel as though they are being stalked.  And men, clingy men, tend to really go overboard, and I will tell you, it scares a woman.  There are a lot of freaks out there, and it can be a bit unnerving to have someone know everythng you've been doing. 

There are men that are just completely creepy.  They show up at your work; they try to befriend your friends or family members; they are constantly online waiting for you to pop on and IM you instantly as soon as your Windows Vista loads.  They are constantly available to you, and they want to ALWAYS be with you.  They will offer to change your oil on a Wednesday, and they will want you to meet their family right away. 

Men can be as bad as women, but they are worse because they DON'T stop. 

I don't know who educated these men, but they seem to think all a woman wants is a relationship and get married and have kids.  Not every woman wants this, and most need chemistry.  If the two of you have chemistry, she will let you know. She will touch your arm, she will sit close to you, she will make reference to it, and she will even make the frist move to kiss you if she's feeling confident enough.  But if there is no chemistry, you will either end up in the friend zone or a blip on the screen.

Take heed, don't assume that because she's a woman she automatically wants everything you do (marriage, family, house). Don't ever assume because you will probably be wrong. Go slow. Don't smother and dont send blast texts.  If you send a text, asking how her day is, and she responds with an answer, and a question, THAT means she is into you. If she responds with a one word answer...don't send another text!